One Night In Dublin. An Aussie lawyer walked into a bar.

People have long been interested in legal language. That doesn't mean they like it. Legal formalities, conceits and obfuscations are ridiculed and demonised in popular culture. Lawyers who use the language to confront and confuse are mocked, except for those who, sadly, are appointed to the bench.

Australian lawyers, especially those working in the regions are less frequent offenders. Those who speak to juries in criminal trials are the least offensive of all.

They, the good ones, speak a more accessible language. Plain English, with a twist. But that doesn't mean that there is never any confusion. Sometimes there is.

I recall a happy time. Many miles from home and countless worries away from life at the criminal bar.

Ireland. Dublin. The Temple Bar. I bought a round of Guinness and slid the pints across the table to my drunken mates. The band,  of the Irish Folk/Punk type, launched into Rolling King. I raised my pint to them. They'd got it right.

We were telling war stories. I mentioned something pedestrian, someone I'd prosecuted or defended, and how they eventually decided to 'nod the nut'.

I said it, whatever it was, wiped away my Guinness moustache and waited for a story in return - stories being the currency of company.

The American, a District Attorney from New York didn't get it.

'Nod the nut,' he said curiously, as if it were a quadratic equation. 'That a sexual term? Something to do with fellatio?'

I stared at him; lost in translation. He grinned and bobbed his head by way of demonstration but I was none the wiser.

The Pommy slurped his black fluid, stroked under his eye where his monocle would sit.

'No. It means to go to sleep. To nod off. In court, obviously.'

'I don't think so' said the Yorker. 'It's definitely a sexual thing. Ball worship,' he barked confidently. 'Some women are right into that. Especially after Shades of Gray.'

I looked from one of my conference companions to the other. And for just a second I wanted to be home, or at the very least with people who speak my bloody language.