How to Eat a Car.

When I was six I decided to eat a car. Leon Samson, a sideshow strongman who bent, chewed and ate improbable objects, inspired me. Along with the Jimmy Sharman boxing tent and the bearded lady, Samson was an agricultural show regular. I suppose that women comparing tea cakes and men battling over the size of their butternuts were regulars too, but if they were I never saw them. For kids, the rides and sideshow alley were the attraction.

How to Beat Bullying. I have a dream.

Before Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, there was face-to-face bullying. Sometimes, fist-to-face bullying. Blood and bruises atop confusion, tears and shame. Here is my experience of old school bullying, and my sick, unlawful and moderately evil hope for the future.