How to Greet a Killer

How do you greet a killer? Law school does not prepare you for it. Nor does the bar practice course or pupillage. For most barristers this is not a deficiency in the learning because the likelihood of acting for a killer is small. However for criminal defence barristers, especially those who achieve some seniority, the likelihood becomes certainty.

What do you do when you finally meet that rarest of beasts, the human being who has taken the life of another.

The Worst Job I Ever Had: lessons from the man without Latin.

He was crude, abusive and cruel; intelligent, creative and quick. All this clicking and sliding, burning and sparking within his tall and beautiful frame. He spoke just enough or incessantly and his timing was perfect. He smoked, was frequently drunk and died too early, one of the funniest men that ever lived.

            Unlike Dudley Moore his diminutive sidekick of many years, Peter Cook never courted Hollywood fame or fortune. Instead he revelled in the sheer pleasure of his pursuits: anarchic satire, exploring the absurd and making others laugh. He has breathed life into some weird and wonderful characters: Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling, EL Wisty and Martin Trout for example. He was especially kind to the legal profession giving us the iconic and timeless ‘Biased Judge’s Summing Up’ and ‘I could have been a judge but I never had the Latin’.

             

Judicial Bullying: knotted knickers can be cruel.

Judicial bullying for fun and profit, by Judge Judy.

Though as old as law, it is only recently that judicial bullying has been recognised as a problem. It has sparked the interest of senior practitioners, leaders of the bar and judges; been the subject of scholarly exploration and articles offering advice to its victims. Then there is this: a personal and anxious account of how things once were and still are in some court rooms. It may be rare but it still exists and the results are both fearful and funny.

What Judges Want: a reply - if the court pleases.

You can bet your life on it. At every legal conference there will be a Judge’s presentation of a particular kind. Sometimes the titles mislead. Affective Advocacy sounds innocuous enough, a nice little post-lunch soporific easing one towards the evening’s networking opportunities. Other titles, The View from the Bench, at least hint at their purpose.

Sometimes it can be slow and painful.

Still others are like a merciful kill shot between the eyes of a wounded beast: What Judges Want is unequivocal.

         Whatever the title don’t be fooled, the presentation is not so much an opportunity for the bench to guide and nurture, as it is a chance to warn, threaten and even punish.

Australia Barristers Go Walkabout.

Barristers in Australia frequently go walkabout. The vast size of the country means travel for work is essential. Those based in cities travel to regional towns. Those based in regional towns travel to remote communities and those based in remote communities sometimes disappear up their own clackers.

I've never been based anywhere but cities and towns so have not yet disappeared up anything. However I have enjoyed occasional forays into remote places.

Coastal North Queensland

A certain sense of freedom comes with driving or flying into the bush. It is a privilege to experience this expansive place. Driving especially allows you to appreciate the land: the passing landscape melting into night, the smell of freshly turned earth and in summer, the warmth and weight of the air itself.

You can't capture the feelings but you can keep a visual record. It's not perfect but a few photos at least remind you of each journey into the land. Here are a few snaps from a recent trip to the tropics.

Cleaver Greene Without the Rake

I once appeared in court naked, crouched inside a glass sphere hanging from a crane. Below were a cantankerous judge, bemused jurors and a packed gallery. Worst of all, I’d forgotten my wig and was completed unprepared for trial.

It was a nightmare of the kind I had experienced early in my career, when for a short time antidepressants and sleeping tablets were good friends. After twenty years at the bar I’d hoped such fears were behind me.

Crime Scenes: a short story

Criminal lawyers see things you just shouldn't. You remember the photographs mostly. Broken things. Injuries. Bodies. Always blood. Like you've never seen it. Crusty, the red life gone from it. Later, black and thick as tar. And you remember the crime scenes. If you practice long enough they become part of your landscape. I've practiced long enough and decided to write about it. There's a twist of course.

The Lawyers' Black Dog.

Churchill called it the black dog. The condition that steals colour from the world and drains energy, enthusiasm and hope from sufferers. At its worst it renders victims unable to eat, drink or move. And of course, it kills.

Depression can strike anyone, anywhere. High functioning professionals are not immune. This article considers the prevalence of depression among barristers.

The Challenge of Sentencing Offenders

Sentencing offenders is a complex affair. It challenges judges, defence counsel and prosecutors to get it right. The sentences that result are part law, part art and part wrong. Here is a story about one of mine (I was defence counsel, not accused).

I returned to my chamber, a space not deserving of the ‘s’ that bestows dignity. The floor scattered with briefs, each marked by pink ribbon, like land mines. The desk cluttered and the bookshelves ordered chaos.

Late afternoon light sneaks through the towers to my small window. No match for the cold buzz of the fluorescent light that flattens and sanitises everything.