What's with the title?

Barristers are supposed to like words. After all, without them they’d just be time-trapped weirdos wearing gowns and wigs. So you might be surprised to learn that some dislike their words, or they practice as if they do. Clogging submissions with such dross and confuscation as to make them meaningless.
Even barristers who like words can get things wrong. Trials happen in real time with real people. There is no delete button, no replay, and sometimes shit happens. (This phrase has Prime Ministerial approval in Australia.)
 I love words but still trip up in court. Sometimes on the same old step I’ve been tripping on for years. I have reddened at the sound of my own voice and cringed on reading transcripts of my words. Sometimes when a transcript is read for the jury, I look across at them and mouth, ‘I’m so sorry’. My specialty, a habit hard to break, is the long crippled question that limps about the courtroom like a wounded animal begging to be shot.

My failings are all the more painful because I love my words. Sometimes when I tie them together in some ugly ways, or caste them into muddy waters, I feel guilty. Some sort of linguistic sociopath.

Sometimes I get it right. Some old favourites pulled out because their sound and meaning is wonderful and they are just perfect for the job. Others dusted off because they are often misused and deserve better. A few are trotted out less fondly, because they are the language of the law and are expected. Still others are borrowed or stolen and used with thrilling unease and the quiet fear that a rival advocate will storm into court and shout, ‘Oy. McCool. That’s my fuckin’ word you're using’.
So it made sense to me to find a sweet little title for my first foray into blogging. The Naked Counsel does it for me. (Now that’s not something you’ll hear often.)
I like it because it’s me. Base yet sophisticated. Subtle but blindingly obvious. Simple and complex. Sober and drunk, sometimes at the same time. If this title had a face, it would be worn but still broodingly handsome.

There were alternatives but no serious contenders. Consider for example: the bollocky barrister, attorney at raw, the bare-assed advocate or soliciting starkers.  All pretty ordinary. None with the gravitas of Naked Counsel. None with the subtlety and depth of meanings. You’re smart. I don’t need to point these out.

Yep. Naked counsel does it for me.

No comments:

Post a Comment